The different types of friends and which one to choose
The noble Shaykh Muhammad Ibn Salih Al-'Uthaymeen, may Allah have mercy upon him, states:
"And he (Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd, may Allah have mercy upon him) divided (in his book Hilyatu Taalib-il-'Ilm) friends into the following three categories:
Firstly: The one who befriends you for some worldly interest.
He is the one who befriends you for as long as he can benefit from you by way of money, status or other than that. As soon as that benefit ceases he turns into your enemy and he doesn't know you any longer and nor do you know him. How numerous are the people of this category! And how numerous are those who complain when it comes to gaining some worldly benefit!
(Allah says:) "And of them are some who accuse you (O Muhammad ) in the matter of (the distribution of) the alms. If they are given part thereof, they are pleased, but if they are not given thereof, behold! They are enraged!" [Surah At-Taubah 9:58]
You think that he's your close friend and from the most beloved people to you and that you are from the most beloved people to him, but when he asks you one day and says: "Lend me your book so that I may read through it!" and you say to him: "By Allah, I need the book today but I'll give it to you tomorrow." he suddenly becomes arrogant and hostile towards you. Is this a (real) friend?! This is the one who only befriends you for some worldly gain.
Secondly: The fun friend.
He only befriends you because he enjoys sitting, having conversations, socializing and staying up until late at night to have a chat with you, but he does not benefit you and nor do you benefit from him. Each one of you does not benefit the other. It is nothing else but time wasting. You similarly have to watch out when it comes to this category in order for him not to waste your precious time.
Thirdly: The good and virtuous friend.
He inspires you to do good and forbids you from doing evil. He opens up for you the doors of good and guides you towards them. And if you do a mistake he admonishes you without that you have to feel embarrassed. He is the good and virtuous friend."
Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-'Uthaymeen, may Allah have mercy upon him
Translated by 'Abdurrahīm Ibn Muhammad Al-Hadhramī.
Published on Salafi-Dawah.com.
Source: Sharh Hilyati Taalib-il-'Ilm
Use the player below or download the MP3 here.
"And he (Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd, may Allah have mercy upon him) divided (in his book Hilyatu Taalib-il-'Ilm) friends into the following three categories:
Firstly: The one who befriends you for some worldly interest.
He is the one who befriends you for as long as he can benefit from you by way of money, status or other than that. As soon as that benefit ceases he turns into your enemy and he doesn't know you any longer and nor do you know him. How numerous are the people of this category! And how numerous are those who complain when it comes to gaining some worldly benefit!
(Allah says:) "And of them are some who accuse you (O Muhammad ) in the matter of (the distribution of) the alms. If they are given part thereof, they are pleased, but if they are not given thereof, behold! They are enraged!" [Surah At-Taubah 9:58]
You think that he's your close friend and from the most beloved people to you and that you are from the most beloved people to him, but when he asks you one day and says: "Lend me your book so that I may read through it!" and you say to him: "By Allah, I need the book today but I'll give it to you tomorrow." he suddenly becomes arrogant and hostile towards you. Is this a (real) friend?! This is the one who only befriends you for some worldly gain.
Secondly: The fun friend.
He only befriends you because he enjoys sitting, having conversations, socializing and staying up until late at night to have a chat with you, but he does not benefit you and nor do you benefit from him. Each one of you does not benefit the other. It is nothing else but time wasting. You similarly have to watch out when it comes to this category in order for him not to waste your precious time.
Thirdly: The good and virtuous friend.
He inspires you to do good and forbids you from doing evil. He opens up for you the doors of good and guides you towards them. And if you do a mistake he admonishes you without that you have to feel embarrassed. He is the good and virtuous friend."
Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-'Uthaymeen, may Allah have mercy upon him
Translated by 'Abdurrahīm Ibn Muhammad Al-Hadhramī.
Published on Salafi-Dawah.com.
Source: Sharh Hilyati Taalib-il-'Ilm
Use the player below or download the MP3 here.
وقد قسم ﺍﻷﺻﺪﻗﺎﺀ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺛﻼثة أقسام
ﺍﻷﻭﻝ : ﺻﺪﻳﻖ ﻣﻨﻔﻌﺔ : ﻭﻫﻮ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﺼﺎﺩﻗﻚ ﻣﺎ ﺩﺍﻡ ﻳﻨﺘﻔﻊ ﻣﻨﻚ ﺑﻤﺎﻝ ، ﺃﻭ ﺟﺎﻩ ، ﺃﻭ ﺑﻐﻴﺮ ﺫﻟﻚ ، ﻓﺈﺫﺍ ﺍﻧﻘﻄﻊ ﺍﻻﻧﺘﻔﺎﻉ ﻓﻬﻮ ﻋﺪﻭﻙ ﻻ ﻳﻌﺮﻓﻚ ﻭﻻ ﺗﻌﺮﻓﻪ ، ﻭﻣﺎ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻫﺆﻻﺀ ، ﻭﻣﺎ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﺍﻟﺬﻳﻦ ﻳﻠﻤﺰﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺼﺪﻗﺎﺕ ﻭَﻣِﻨْﻬُﻢ ﻣَّﻦ ﻳَﻠْﻤِﺰُﻙَ ﻓِﻲ ﺍﻟﺼَّﺪَﻗَﺎﺕِ ﻓَﺈِﻥْ ﺃُﻋْﻄُﻮﺍْ ﻣِﻨْﻬَﺎ ﺭَﺿُﻮﺍْ ﻭَﺇِﻥ ﻟَّﻢْ ﻳُﻌْﻄَﻮْﺍ ﻣِﻨْﻬَﺎ ﺇِﺫَﺍ ﻫُﻢْ ﻳَﺴْﺨَﻄُﻮﻥَ. سورة التوبة 58. ﺻﺪﻳﻖ ﻟﻚ ﺣﻤﻴﻢ ﺗﺮﻯ ﺃﻧﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺃﻋﺰ ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ ﻋﻨﺪﻙ ، ﻭﺃﻧﺖ ﻣﻦ ﺃﻋﺰ ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ ﻋﻨﺪﻩ ﻳﺴﺄﻟﻚ ﻳﻮما ﻣﻦ ﺍﻷﻳﺎﻡ ﻳﻘﻮﻝ : ﺃﻋﻄﻨﻲ ﻛﺘﺎﺑﻚ ﺃﻗﺮﺃ ﻓﻴﻪ ، ﻓﺘﻘﻮﻝ : ﻭﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﺍﻟﻜﺘﺎﺏ ﺃﻧﺎ ﻣﺤﺘﺎﺝ إليه اليوم أعطيك ﺇﻳﺎﻩ ﻏﺪًﺍ ، ﻓﻴﻨﺘﻔﺦ ﻋﻠﻴﻚ ﻭﻳﻌﺎﺩﻳﻚ ، ﻫﻞ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺻﺪﻳﻖ !؟ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺻﺪﻳﻖ ﻣﻨﻔﻌﺔ. ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻧﻲ : ﺻﺪﻳﻖ ﻟﺬﺓ : ﻳﻌﻨﻲ ﻻ ﻳﺼﺎﺩﻗﻚ ﺇﻻ ﻷﻧﻪ ﻳﺘﻤﺘﻊ بالجلوس إليك وﺍﻟﻤﺤﺎﺩﺛﺎﺕ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺂﻧﺴﺎﺕ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺴﺎﻣﺮﺍﺕ ، ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻪ ﻻ ﻳﻨﻔﻌﻚ ، ﻭﻻ ﺗﻨﺘﻔﻊ ﺑﻪ ﻣﻨﻪ ﺃﻧﺖ ، ﻛﻞ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﻣﻨﻜﻢ ﻻ ﻳﻨﻔﻊ ﺍﻵﺧﺮ ، ﻟﻴﺲ ﺇﻻ ﺿﻴﺎﻉ ﻭﻗﺖ ﻓﻘﻂ ، ﻫﺬﺍ - ﺃﻳﻀًﺎ - ﺍﺣﺬﺭ ﻣﻨﻪ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻀﻴﻊ ﺃﻭﻗﺎﺗﻚ. ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺚ : ﺻﺪﻳﻖ ﻓﻀﻴﻠﺔ : ﻳﺤﻤﻠﻚ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺰﻳﻦ ﻭﻳﻨﻬﺎﻙ ﻋﻦ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺸﻴﻦ ، ﻭﻳﻔﺘﺢ ﻟﻚ ﺃﺑﻮﺍﺏ ﺍﻟﺨﻴﺮ ﻭﻳﺪﻟﻚ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ، ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺯﻟﻠﺖ نبهك ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺟﻪ ﻻ ﻳﺨﺪﺵ ﻛﺮﺍﻣﺘﻚ ، ﻫﺬﺍ ﻫﻮ ﺻﺪﻳﻖ ﺍﻟﻔﻀﻴﻠﺔ. ﺷﺮﺡ ﺣﻠﻴﺔ ﻃﺎﻟﺐ ﺍﻟﻌﻠﻢ
ﺍﻷﻭﻝ : ﺻﺪﻳﻖ ﻣﻨﻔﻌﺔ : ﻭﻫﻮ ﺍﻟﺬﻱ ﻳﺼﺎﺩﻗﻚ ﻣﺎ ﺩﺍﻡ ﻳﻨﺘﻔﻊ ﻣﻨﻚ ﺑﻤﺎﻝ ، ﺃﻭ ﺟﺎﻩ ، ﺃﻭ ﺑﻐﻴﺮ ﺫﻟﻚ ، ﻓﺈﺫﺍ ﺍﻧﻘﻄﻊ ﺍﻻﻧﺘﻔﺎﻉ ﻓﻬﻮ ﻋﺪﻭﻙ ﻻ ﻳﻌﺮﻓﻚ ﻭﻻ ﺗﻌﺮﻓﻪ ، ﻭﻣﺎ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻫﺆﻻﺀ ، ﻭﻣﺎ ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﺍﻟﺬﻳﻦ ﻳﻠﻤﺰﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺼﺪﻗﺎﺕ ﻭَﻣِﻨْﻬُﻢ ﻣَّﻦ ﻳَﻠْﻤِﺰُﻙَ ﻓِﻲ ﺍﻟﺼَّﺪَﻗَﺎﺕِ ﻓَﺈِﻥْ ﺃُﻋْﻄُﻮﺍْ ﻣِﻨْﻬَﺎ ﺭَﺿُﻮﺍْ ﻭَﺇِﻥ ﻟَّﻢْ ﻳُﻌْﻄَﻮْﺍ ﻣِﻨْﻬَﺎ ﺇِﺫَﺍ ﻫُﻢْ ﻳَﺴْﺨَﻄُﻮﻥَ. سورة التوبة 58. ﺻﺪﻳﻖ ﻟﻚ ﺣﻤﻴﻢ ﺗﺮﻯ ﺃﻧﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺃﻋﺰ ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ ﻋﻨﺪﻙ ، ﻭﺃﻧﺖ ﻣﻦ ﺃﻋﺰ ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ ﻋﻨﺪﻩ ﻳﺴﺄﻟﻚ ﻳﻮما ﻣﻦ ﺍﻷﻳﺎﻡ ﻳﻘﻮﻝ : ﺃﻋﻄﻨﻲ ﻛﺘﺎﺑﻚ ﺃﻗﺮﺃ ﻓﻴﻪ ، ﻓﺘﻘﻮﻝ : ﻭﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﺍﻟﻜﺘﺎﺏ ﺃﻧﺎ ﻣﺤﺘﺎﺝ إليه اليوم أعطيك ﺇﻳﺎﻩ ﻏﺪًﺍ ، ﻓﻴﻨﺘﻔﺦ ﻋﻠﻴﻚ ﻭﻳﻌﺎﺩﻳﻚ ، ﻫﻞ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺻﺪﻳﻖ !؟ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺻﺪﻳﻖ ﻣﻨﻔﻌﺔ. ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻧﻲ : ﺻﺪﻳﻖ ﻟﺬﺓ : ﻳﻌﻨﻲ ﻻ ﻳﺼﺎﺩﻗﻚ ﺇﻻ ﻷﻧﻪ ﻳﺘﻤﺘﻊ بالجلوس إليك وﺍﻟﻤﺤﺎﺩﺛﺎﺕ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺂﻧﺴﺎﺕ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺴﺎﻣﺮﺍﺕ ، ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻪ ﻻ ﻳﻨﻔﻌﻚ ، ﻭﻻ ﺗﻨﺘﻔﻊ ﺑﻪ ﻣﻨﻪ ﺃﻧﺖ ، ﻛﻞ ﻭﺍﺣﺪ ﻣﻨﻜﻢ ﻻ ﻳﻨﻔﻊ ﺍﻵﺧﺮ ، ﻟﻴﺲ ﺇﻻ ﺿﻴﺎﻉ ﻭﻗﺖ ﻓﻘﻂ ، ﻫﺬﺍ - ﺃﻳﻀًﺎ - ﺍﺣﺬﺭ ﻣﻨﻪ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻀﻴﻊ ﺃﻭﻗﺎﺗﻚ. ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺚ : ﺻﺪﻳﻖ ﻓﻀﻴﻠﺔ : ﻳﺤﻤﻠﻚ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺰﻳﻦ ﻭﻳﻨﻬﺎﻙ ﻋﻦ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺸﻴﻦ ، ﻭﻳﻔﺘﺢ ﻟﻚ ﺃﺑﻮﺍﺏ ﺍﻟﺨﻴﺮ ﻭﻳﺪﻟﻚ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ، ﻭﺇﺫﺍ ﺯﻟﻠﺖ نبهك ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺟﻪ ﻻ ﻳﺨﺪﺵ ﻛﺮﺍﻣﺘﻚ ، ﻫﺬﺍ ﻫﻮ ﺻﺪﻳﻖ ﺍﻟﻔﻀﻴﻠﺔ. ﺷﺮﺡ ﺣﻠﻴﺔ ﻃﺎﻟﺐ ﺍﻟﻌﻠﻢ