Marrying a second wife when the first wife does not agree
Question:
"Is it allowed for me to marry a second wife, without the first one knowing it? Because, my first wife will not accept it."
The Shaykh responds to a remark from someone in the audience:
"Why is he scared? Why?" (Laughter from audience)
Shaykh:
"The majority of us are somewhat scared when it comes to this matter. Don't inform the woman, or she won't even accept the narration concerning this." (Shaykh laughs)
Shaykh:
"Dear brother, the first woman does not have the right to prohibit you, or come between the marriage. As for you, ask yourself… 'Are you a man who sees in himself the strength to treat them justly? With a strong heart, and can you endure what you will get to hear. And making an effort to treat them justly in the first place?' Accept it then, and marry more. But if you are convinced that you can't do this, or you fear the bad consequences, then don't. I think if it has come to the point that you are scared to inform her about it, then the situation is serious. Yes, it is for you to be gentle in behavior toward her. And comfort her with the right words. Try to get her in the right mood, and make her happy by buying something for her etc. If it is the case that she still rejects it, and you are not able to come to the point that she agrees with it; it isn't obligatory that she agrees with it. Yes."
Shaykh continues:
"And revive this Sunnah! The women of the believers are sitting at home. The age to get married has passed. And in some houses there are 10 women, of which some have reached 40 or 50 and still aren't married. And we have imitated the West (in this regard). And we keep hearing their bad characters, and the confusion that they incite, to stop the polygamous marriage. And Allah says:
{Marry women of your choice, two or three or four.}
Allah started with 2 (women). That is why our Shaykh Ibn Baaz (May Allah have mercy on him) said, and he has Predecessors (Salaf) in this matter, he said: "(That) the principle is to do polygamy." And that it is only waived if you fear what? For not treating them justly."
Shaykh Saalih as-Suhaymee, may Allah preserve him
Reference: Question was asked during a lesson in the Prophet's Masjid, translation taken from Youtube video.
"Is it allowed for me to marry a second wife, without the first one knowing it? Because, my first wife will not accept it."
The Shaykh responds to a remark from someone in the audience:
"Why is he scared? Why?" (Laughter from audience)
Shaykh:
"The majority of us are somewhat scared when it comes to this matter. Don't inform the woman, or she won't even accept the narration concerning this." (Shaykh laughs)
Shaykh:
"Dear brother, the first woman does not have the right to prohibit you, or come between the marriage. As for you, ask yourself… 'Are you a man who sees in himself the strength to treat them justly? With a strong heart, and can you endure what you will get to hear. And making an effort to treat them justly in the first place?' Accept it then, and marry more. But if you are convinced that you can't do this, or you fear the bad consequences, then don't. I think if it has come to the point that you are scared to inform her about it, then the situation is serious. Yes, it is for you to be gentle in behavior toward her. And comfort her with the right words. Try to get her in the right mood, and make her happy by buying something for her etc. If it is the case that she still rejects it, and you are not able to come to the point that she agrees with it; it isn't obligatory that she agrees with it. Yes."
Shaykh continues:
"And revive this Sunnah! The women of the believers are sitting at home. The age to get married has passed. And in some houses there are 10 women, of which some have reached 40 or 50 and still aren't married. And we have imitated the West (in this regard). And we keep hearing their bad characters, and the confusion that they incite, to stop the polygamous marriage. And Allah says:
{Marry women of your choice, two or three or four.}
Allah started with 2 (women). That is why our Shaykh Ibn Baaz (May Allah have mercy on him) said, and he has Predecessors (Salaf) in this matter, he said: "(That) the principle is to do polygamy." And that it is only waived if you fear what? For not treating them justly."
Shaykh Saalih as-Suhaymee, may Allah preserve him
Reference: Question was asked during a lesson in the Prophet's Masjid, translation taken from Youtube video.